Dinosaur jokes #24

Filed at 10:06 am under Dinosaur jokes by admin

Q: Why didn’t the T-rex skeleton attack the museum visitors?

A: Because she had no guts!

Computer jokes #108

Filed at 8:06 am under Computer jokes by admin

Customer: “How do I print my voicemail?”

College jokes #51

Filed at 6:06 am under College jokes by admin

What do you get if you cross a student and an alien ?

Something from another universe -ity !

E-mail jokes #22

Filed at 4:06 am under E-mail jokes by admin

How do sheep sign their e-mails?

Ewes sincerely.

Divorce jokes #19

Filed at 2:06 am under Divorce jokes by admin

A guy calls up his ex-wife and, disguising his voice, asks to speak to himself. “Sorry, he doesn’t live here anymore, we’re divorced!”

Next day, the guy does the same thing with the same results. He does this everyday for a week, and finally his ex-wife realizes who it is that keeps calling.

“Look, Bozo! We’re divorced! Finito! End of story! When are you going to get that through your fat head?”

“Oh, I know! I just can’t hear it enough!”

Dog jokes #153

Filed at 12:06 am under Dog jokes by admin

What do you call a sheepdog’s tail that can tell tall stories ?

A shaggy dogs tale !

Vampire jokes #66

Filed at 10:06 pm under Vampire jokes by admin

Why did the vampire enjoy ballroom dancing?

He could really get into the vaultz.

Doctor and nurse jokes #108

Filed at 8:06 pm under Doctor and nurse jokes by admin

Doctor, Doctor I’ve just swallowed a pen

Well sit down and write your name!

Knock Knock jokes #243

Filed at 6:06 pm under Knock Knock jokes by admin

Knock Knock

Who’s there !

Arnie !

Arnie who !

Arnie having fun ?

Humor jokes #130

Filed at 4:06 pm under Humor jokes by admin

Terry and Debbie were camping with their parents deep in the woods.

‘How far is it to town?’ Terry wanted to know.

‘Six miles,’ said Debbie.

‘That’s too far to walk,’ Terry replied.

‘It’s not too bad,’ Debbie said. ‘We can each walk three miles!’

Fishing jokes #84

Filed at 2:06 pm under Fishing jokes by admin

What kind of money do fishermen make ?

Net profits !

Aviation jokes #82

Filed at 12:06 pm under Aviation jokes by admin

ATC: “Cessna G-ABCD What are your intentions? ”

Cessna: “To get my Commercial Pilots Licence and Instrument Rating.”

ATC: “I meant in the next five minutes not years.”

Birthday jokes #52

Filed at 10:06 am under Birthday jokes by admin

Dad bought Mum a bone-china tea set for her birthday.

How lovely!

Yes, but he only did it so as not to have to do the washing-up. Mum’s too frightened he’ll break it!

Money jokes #54

Filed at 8:06 am under Money jokes by admin

Why are diapers like $10 bills?

Because you have to change them.

Business jokes #63

Filed at 6:06 am under Business jokes by admin

Fresh out of business school, the young man answered a want ad for an accountant. Now he was being interviewed by a very nervous man who ran a small business that he had started himself.

“I need someone with an accounting degree,” the man said. “But mainly, I’m looking for someone to do my worrying for me.”

“Excuse me?” the accountant said.

“I worry about a lot of things,” the man said. “But I don’t want to have to worry about money. Your job will be to take all the money worries off my back.”

“I see,” the accountant said. “And how much does the job pay?”

“I’ll start you at eighty thousand.”

“Eighty thousand dollars!” the accountant exclaimed. “How can such a small business afford a sum like that?”

“That,” the owner said, “is your first worry.”

Heaven and hell jokes #40

Filed at 4:06 am under Heaven and hell jokes by admin

So this trumpet player dies. When he reaches is everlasting reward, the guy in the robe says, “You’re going to spend eternity with this combo, okay? There’s a bass player named ‘Mingus’ and a pianist named ‘Monk’, and any day now we expect this ‘Blakey’ guy to show up with his drums.”

“Wow!” the guy says, “I never imagined heaven would be this good.”

The man in the robe says, “This is hell, not heaven. There’s a girl singer.”

Space jokes #33

Filed at 2:06 am under Space jokes by admin

What is an astronomer?

A night watchman with a college education.

Gorilla jokes #47

Filed at 12:06 am under Gorilla jokes by admin

How does a Gorilla become another animal?

When a Mafia don hires a ‘big Gorilla’ to be his bodyguard and the big Ape goes to the cops and turns into a stool pigeon!

Various animal jokes #128

Filed at 10:06 pm under Various animal jokes by admin

How would you get four reindeer in a car?

Two in the front and two in the back!

And how do you get four polar bears in a car?

Take the reindeer out first

Dirty jokes #219

Filed at 8:06 pm under Dirty jokes by admin

What did the egg say to the boiling water?

“It might take me a while to get hard I just got layed last night.”

Christmas jokes #82

Filed at 6:06 pm under Christmas jokes by admin

Who delievers elephants’s Christmas presents?

Elephanta Claus !

Christmas jokes #81

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Mum, Can I have a dog for Christmas ?

No you can have turkey like everyone else !

Rabbit jokes #55

Filed at 2:06 pm under Rabbit jokes by admin

What do rabbits put in their computers?

Hoppy disks!

Weather jokes #73

Filed at 12:06 pm under Weather jokes by admin

Two weathermen each broke an arm and a leg in an accident, and called from the hospital about the four casts.

Cat jokes #63

Filed at 10:06 am under Cat jokes by admin

Q: Where did the kittens go on their class trip?

A: To a mewseum.

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