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Various animal jokes #13

Filed at 10:06 pm under Various animal jokes by admin

What would you get if you crossed a grizzly with the world’s greatest basketball player?
Bear Jordan.

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Music jokes #12

Filed at 4:06 pm under Music jokes by admin

Q: What is the definition of an optimist?
A: An accordion player with a pager.

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Blonde jokes #22

Filed at 2:06 pm under Blonde jokes by admin

Q: Why did the blonde get so excited after she finished her jigsaw puzzle in only 6 months?
A: Because on the box it said From 2-4 years.

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Cat jokes #6

Filed at 12:06 pm under Cat jokes by admin

Why did the cat sleep under the car ?
Because she wanted to wake up oily !

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Travel and tourist jokes #9

Filed at 10:06 am under Travel and tourist jokes by admin

Joan, who was rather well-proportioned, spent almost all of her vacation sunbathing on the roof of her hotel.

She wore a bathing suit the first day, but on the second, she decided that no one could see her way up there, and she slipped out of it for an overall tan.

She’d hardly begun when she heard someone running up the stairs. She was lying on her stomach, so she just pulled a towel over her rear.

“Excuse me, miss,” said the flustered assistant manager of the hotel, out of breath from running up the stairs. “The Hilton doesn’t mind your sunbathing on the roof, but we would very much appreciate your wearing a bathing suit as you did yesterday.”

“What difference does it make?” Joan asked rather calmly. “No one can see me up here, and besides, I’m covered with a towel.”

“Not exactly,” said the embarrassed man. “You’re lying on the dining room skylight.”

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Knock Knock jokes #27

Filed at 8:06 am under Knock Knock jokes by admin

Knock Knock
Who’s there !
Agent !
Agent who ?
Agentle breeze !

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Easter jokes #5

Filed at 6:06 am under Easter jokes by admin

How does the Easter Bunny paint all of those eggs?
He hires Santa’s elves during the off-season.

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Bar jokes, beer, booze and fun! #9

Filed at 4:06 am under Bar jokes, beer, booze and fun! by admin

Contrary to what people say, you can indeed drink to relax.
Of course sometimes, you get so calm, you can’t move.

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Internet jokes #8

Filed at 2:06 am under Internet jokes by admin

Why do you keep going back to that fishing website?
I can’t help it, I’m hooked.

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E-mail jokes #3

Filed at 12:06 am under E-mail jokes by admin

How do Italian Chefs swap recipes?
By Spaghett-e-mail!

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Aviation jokes #14

Filed at 10:06 pm under Aviation jokes by admin

A man named Mr. Smith was flying from San Francisco to LA.
Unexpectedly the plane stopped in Sacramento along the way. The flight attendant explained that there would be a delay, and if the passengers wanted to get off the aircraft, the plane would re-board in 30 minutes. Everybody got off the plane except one gentleman who was blind. Mr. Smith had noticed him as he walked by and could tell the blind man had flown before because his Seeing Eye dog lay quietly underneath the seats in front of him throughout the entire flight.

Mr. Smith could also tell he had flown this very flight before because the pilot approached him, and calling him by name, said Keith, we’re in Sacramento for almost an hour. Would you like to get off and stretch your legs?”

Keith replied, “No thanks, but maybe the dog would like to stretch his legs”.

Now, picture this: All the people in the gate area came to a complete quiet standstill when they looked up and saw the pilot walk off the plane with the Seeing Eye dog!

The pilot was even wearing sunglasses.

People scattered. They not only tried to change planes, but they were trying to change airlines!

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Witch jokes #6

Filed at 8:06 pm under Witch jokes by admin

Is it good to drink witch’s brew?
Yes, it’s very newt tricious!

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Aviation jokes #13

Filed at 6:06 pm under Aviation jokes by admin

After a real crusher of a landing in Phoenix, the Flight Attendant came on with, “Ladies and Gentlemen, please remain in your seats until Captain Crash and the Crew have brought the aircraft to a screeching halt up against the gate. And, once the tire smoke has cleared and the warning bells are silenced, we’ll open the door and you can pick your way through the wreckage to the terminal.”

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