Filed at 10:06 pm under Old age jokes by admin
An eighty year old couple were having problems remembering things, so they decided to go to their doctor to make sure nothing was wrong with them. When they arrived at the doctor’s office, they explained to the doctor about the problems they were having with their memory.
After checking the couple out, the doctor told them that they were physically okay but might want to start writing things down, making notes to help them remember things. The couple thanked the doctor and left.
Later that night while watching TV, the old man got up from his chair and his wife asked, “Where are you going?”
He replied, “To the kitchen.”
She asked, “Will you get me a bowl of ice cream?”
“Sure.”
Then his wife asked him, “Don’t you think you should write it down so you can remember it?”
“No, I can remember that.”
“Well, I also would like some strawberries on top. You had better write that down cause I know you’ll forget that,” his wife said.
“I can remember that, you want a bowl of ice cream with strawberries.”
She replied, “Well, I also would like whipped cream on top. I know you will forget that. You had better write it down.”
With irritation in his voice, he said, “I don’t need to write that down, I can remember that.” He went into the kitchen.
After about 20 minutes, he returned from the kitchen and handed her a plate of bacon and eggs.
She stared at the plate for a moment and said, “You forgot my toast.”
Filed at 8:06 pm under Farmer jokes by admin
A farmer was interviewing a young man for the job of assistant farmhand.
`You’ll need to be fit,’ said the farmer. `Have you ever had any illnesses? Any accidents?’
‘No, sir,’ replied the young man proudly. `But you’re on crutches.
You must have had an accident!’ said the farmer.
`Oh, the crutches!’ said the young man. `A bull tossed me last week. But that wasn’t an accident! He did it on purpose!’
Filed at 6:06 pm under Space jokes by admin
What do you call an overweight ET ?
An extra cholesterol !
Filed at 2:06 pm under Blonde jokes by admin
Q: How do blondes pierce their ears?
A: They put tacks in their shoulder pads.
Filed at 12:06 pm under Music jokes by admin
Q: Why shouldn’t violists take up mountaineering?
A: Because if they get lost, it takes ages before anyone notices that they’re missing.
Filed at 8:06 am under Military jokes by admin
Q. What do Baghdad and Hiroshima have in common ?
A. Nothing, yet.
Filed at 6:06 am under Monster jokes by admin
What was the inscription on the tomb of Frankenstein’s monster?
HERE LIES FRANKENSTEIN’S MONSTER. MAY HE REST IN PIECES.
Filed at 4:06 am under Knock Knock jokes by admin
Knock Knock
Who’s there !
Cynthia !
Cynthia who ?
Cynthia you been away I missed you !
Filed at 2:06 am under Various animal jokes by admin
What do you call rubber bumpers on yachts?
Shark absorbers!
Filed at 12:06 am under Frog jokes by admin
Whats green and goes round and round at 100 miles an hour ?
A frog in a blender !
Filed at 10:06 pm under School jokes by admin
Bad timing for an excuse Teacher: Why were you late?
Pupil: Sorry, teacher, I overslept.
Teacher: It’s three in the afternoon!
Filed at 8:06 pm under Insect jokes by admin
Why did the queen bee kick out all of the other bees ?
Because they kept droning on and on !
Filed at 6:06 pm under Dirty jokes by admin
Q: How does a blonde moonwalk?
A: She pulls down her panties and slides her ass along the floor!
Filed at 4:06 pm under Halloween jokes by admin
Where’s the most dangerous place to go trick-or-treating?
On the psycho path!
Filed at 12:06 pm under Cat jokes by admin
What happened when the cat ate a ball of wool ?
She had mittens !
Filed at 8:06 am under Military jokes by admin
Q: How many British navy Officers does it take to change a light bulb?
A: Only one, but it takes him seven weeks to get there.
Filed at 6:06 am under Cowboy jokes by admin
Teacher: When do astronauts eat?
Pupil: At launch time!
Filed at 4:06 am under Dog jokes by admin
How did the dog make anti-freeze?
He stole her blanket.
Filed at 2:06 am under Fishing jokes by admin
How do you post a fish?
You send it COD … or first bass mail
Filed at 12:06 am under Knock Knock jokes by admin
Knock Knock
Who’s there ?
Cherry !
Cherry who ?
Cherry oh, see you later !
Filed at 10:06 pm under Cow jokes by admin
What do cows do when they’re introduced?
They give each other a milk shake!
Filed at 8:06 pm under Mouse jokes by admin
What squeaks as it solves crimes ?
Miami mice !
Filed at 6:06 pm under Food jokes by admin
Did you hear about the two peanuts walking in the woods?
One was “a-salted.”
Filed at 4:06 pm under Waiter jokes by admin
Waiter, there is a frog in my soup !
Don’t worry sir there isn’t enough there to drown him !
Filed at 2:06 pm under Aardvark jokes by admin
What does the aardvark take sailing?
An aard ark!
