Snake jokes #23

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What sort of perfume do snakes prefer ?

Poison by Christian Dior !

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Weather jokes #35

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There’s a technical term for a sunny, warm day which follows two rainy days. It’s called Monday.

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Yo momma jokes #72

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Yo mama’s so stupid she can’t pass a blood test.

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Christmas jokes #35

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Father Christmas: All right, my good lady, my face is my ticket.

Box office attendant: Then you’d better watch out… there’s a feller inside who has the job of punching the tickets.

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Blonde jokes #107

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A blonde was driving down the road listening to the radio and was quite upset when she heard blonde joke after blonde joke. A little way down the road, she saw another blonde out in a field rowing a boat. The blonde stopped her car and angrily jumped out yelling, “You dumb blonde bimbo! It’s blondes like you that give the rest of us a bad name! If I could swim I’d come out there and give you what’s coming to you!”

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Vampire jokes #29

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What is a vampire’s favorite sport?

Batminton.

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Music jokes #54

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Q: How can you tell the difference between all the banjo songs?

A: By their names.

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Insect jokes #60

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Boy: What’s the biggest ant in the world?

Girl: My Aunt

Boy: No, it’s an elephant.

Girl: You obviously haven’t met my Aunt

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Cat jokes #30

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What do you call a cat wearing shoes ?

Puss in boots !

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Birthday jokes #23

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Good news! I’ve been given a goldfish for my birthday. . .the bad news is that I don’t get the bowl until my next birthday!

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Teeth jokes #9

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What happened to the man who put his false teeth in backwards?

He ate himself!

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Vampire jokes #28

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Why do vampires hate arguments?

Because they make themselves cross.

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History jokes #19

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My teacher reminds me of history She’s always repeating herself !

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Insect jokes #59

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Why was the moth so unpopular ?
He kept
picking holes in everything !

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Dirty jokes #118

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Whats the difference between oral sex and anal sex?

Oral sex makes your day, anal sex makes your hole weak.

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Food jokes #34

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How can you make a soup rich?

Add 14 carrots (carats) to it.

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Yo momma jokes #71

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Yo mama so ugly she gets 364 extra days to dress up for Halloween.

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Dog jokes #78

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What did the elephant say when it saw the Chihuahuas coming down the road?

Look out for the mice!

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Knock Knock jokes #122

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Knock Knock

Who’s there !

Chair !

Chair who?

Chair you go again, asking more questions !

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Elephant jokes #37

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What did the elephant say to the famous detective ?

It’s ele-mentary, my dear Sherlock !

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Parent jokes #14

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What’s another name for an parent?

Someone who’s stopped growing except around the waist.

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Brother and sister jokes #13

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First Boy: Why is your brother always flying off the handle ?

Second Boy: Because he’s got a screw loose !

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Monster jokes #46

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What do you get if you cross a plum with a man eating monster?

A purple people eater.

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Blonde jokes #106

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Q: What is 74 to a blonde?

A: 69 plus VAT

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Easter jokes #14

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Why do we paint Easter eggs?

Because it’s easier than trying to wallpaper them!

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