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Various animal jokes #65

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Why did the whale like the diver?

Because he had flippers!

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Men jokes #64

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There are only two four letter words that are offensive to men: “don’t” and “stop”.

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Halloween jokes #14

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What kind of make up was the girl wearing on Halloween?

Mash-scara!

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Sport jokes #52

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Why do grasshoppers not go to many football matches?

They prefer cricket matches!

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Sport jokes #51

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What tea do footballers drink?

Penaltea!

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School jokes #89

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Teacher: Class, we will have only half a day of school this morning.

Class: Hooray!

Teacher: We will have the other half this afternoon!

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Knock Knock jokes #136

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Knock Knock

Who’s there !

Bullet !

Bullet who ?

Bullet all the hay and now he’s hungry !

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Doctor and nurse jokes #48

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Doctor, Doctor I’ve got bad teeth, foul breath and smelly feet.

Sounds like you’ve got Foot and Mouth disease!

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Fishing jokes #48

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What part of a fish weighs the most ?

It’s scales !

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Dinosaur jokes #9

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What did you call a dinosaur that keeps you awake at night ?

Bronto-snore-us !

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Police jokes #52

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Police officer: And what do you think you are doing on this road, Dracula?

Dracula: Looking for the main artery, officer.

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Doctor and nurse jokes #47

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Patient: Doctor, I think I swallowed a pillow.

Doctor: How do you feel?

Patient: A little down in the mouth.

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Dog jokes #85

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What is the only breed of dog a boxer is afraid of?

A Doberman puncher!

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Men jokes #63

Filed at 8:06 pm under Men jokes by admin

A neighbor of mine was bit by a stray rabid dog. I went to see how he was and found him writing furiously. I told him rabies could be cured and he didn’t have to worry about a will. He said, “Will, what will? I’m making a list of people I’m gonna bite.”

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School jokes #88

Filed at 6:06 pm under School jokes by admin

How many students does it take to change a light bulb?

None. Light bulb changing isn’t in the course notes.

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Police jokes #51

Filed at 4:06 pm under Police jokes by admin

A motorist was mailed a picture of his car speeding through an automated radar. A $40 speeding ticket was included. Being cute, he sent the police department a picture of $40. The police responded with another mailed photo — of handcuffs.

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History jokes #22

Filed at 2:06 pm under History jokes by admin

What do Alexander the Great and Winnie the Pooh have in common ?

They both have ‘the’ as their middle names !

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Fishing jokes #47

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What do you get if you cross an abbot with a trout ?

Monkfish !

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Humor jokes #72

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Two cannibals just finished a big meal and one turns to the other while rubbing his stomach with his fist and says, “You know, I just ate my mother-in-law, and she still doesn’t agree with me!”

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