Filed at 10:06 pm under Weather jokes by admin
What is the most popular sport played by raindrops and hail stones?
Diving
Filed at 8:06 pm under School jokes by admin
Teacher : What is a comet ?
Pupil : A star with a tail
Teacher: Can you name one ?
Pupil: Lassie !
Filed at 6:06 pm under Book title jokes by admin
Pig Breeding by Lena Bacon
Filed at 4:06 pm under Banana jokes by admin
Why did the banana go out with the prune?
Because he couldn’t find a date.
Filed at 2:06 pm under Aviation jokes by admin
A man telephoned an airline office in New York and asked, “How long does it take to fly to Boston?”
The clerk said, “Just a minute…”
“Thank you,” the man said and hung up.
Filed at 12:06 pm under Idiot and fool jokes by admin
Did you hear about the Murfreesboro muddlebrain whose father told him about the birds and the bees?
The next day, the Tennessean was stung by a bee and thought he was pregnant.
Filed at 10:06 am under Humor jokes by admin
Once there was a millionaire who had a collection of live alligators. He kept them in a pool at the back of his mansion. The millionaire also had a beautiful daughter who was single. One day, he decides to throw a huge party. During the party he announces, “My dear guests, I have a proposition to every man here. I will give one million dollars or my daughter to the man who can swim across this pool full of alligators and emerge unharmed!”
As soon as he finishes his last word, there is the sound of a large splash. The guests all turn to see a man in the pool swimming as fast as he can. They cheer him on as he keeps stroking. Finally, the swimming man makes it to the other side unharmed. The millionaire is so impressed, he says, “My boy, that was incredible! Fantastic! I didn’t think it could be done! Well, I must keep my end of the bargain. Which do you want, my daughter or the one million dollars?”
The man says, “Listen, I don’t want your money. I don’t want your daughter, either. I want the person who pushed me in that water!”
Filed at 8:06 am under Horse jokes by admin
What couple rode a horse up a hill to fetch a pail of water?
Jockey and Jill!
Filed at 6:06 am under School jokes by admin
Teacher: If you have five haystacks in one corner, five in another and two in another, how many would you have ?
Pupil: One big haystack !
Filed at 12:06 am under Monster jokes by admin
What happened to Frankenstein’s monster on the road?
He was stopped for speeding, fined $50 and dismantled for six months.
Filed at 8:06 pm under Cow jokes by admin
What do you call it when cows do battle in outer space?
Steer Wars.
Filed at 6:06 pm under Dirty jokes by admin
Q: Why don’t men fake orgasm?
A: Coz no man would pull those faces on purpose.
Filed at 4:06 pm under Burger jokes by admin
Why were the burgers in the refrigerator embarrassed?
They saw the salad dressing!
Filed at 2:06 pm under Hair and bald jokes by admin
What’s your dad getting for Christmas?
Bald and fat.
Filed at 12:06 pm under Pig jokes by admin
What did the pig say when the wolf grabbed her tail?
“That’s the end of me!”
Filed at 10:06 am under Cow jokes by admin
What do you get when you cross a cow with a kangaroo?
A kangamoo!
Filed at 8:06 am under Old age jokes by admin
A young man saw an elderly couple sitting down to lunch at McDonald’s. He noticed that they had ordered one meal, and an extra drink cup. As he watched, the gentleman carefully divided the hamburger in half, then counted out the fries, one for him, one for her, until each had half of them. Then he poured half of the soft drink into the extra cup and set that in front of his wife. The old man then began to eat, and his wife sat watching, with her hands folded in her lap.
The young man decided to ask if they would allow him to purchase another meal for them so that they didn’t have to split theirs. The old gentleman said, “Oh no. We’ve been married 50 years, and everything has always been and will always be shared, 50/50.”
The young man then asked the wife if she was going to eat, and she replied, “It’s his turn with the teeth.”
Filed at 6:06 am under Insect jokes by admin
Where would you put an injured insect ?
In an antbulance !
Filed at 4:06 am under Barbie doll jokes by admin
There is a new Barbie doll on the market - Princess Leia Barbie …Barbie with the hairdo from Star Wars
Filed at 2:06 am under Judge jokes by admin
The defendant stood up in the dock and said to the judge, “I dont recognize this court!”
“Why?” asked the Judge. “Because you’ve had it decorated since the last time I was here.”
Filed at 12:06 am under Bar jokes, beer, booze and fun! by admin
The drunk was floundering down the alley carrying a box with holes on the side. He bumped into a friend who asked, “What do you have in there, pal?”
“A mongoose.”
“What for?”
“Well, you know how drunk I can get. When I get drunk I see snakes, and I’m scared to death of snakes. That’s why I got this mongoose, for protection.”
“But,” the friend said, “you idiot! Those are imaginary snakes.”
“That’s okay,” said the drunk, showing his friend the interior of the box, “So is the mongoose.”
Filed at 10:06 pm under Idiot and fool jokes by admin
A man went into a pet shop to buy a parrot. He was shown an especially fine one which he liked the look of, but he was puzzled by the two strings which were tied to its feet.
“What are they for?” he asked the pet shop manager.
“Ah well, sir,” came the reply, “that’s a very unusual feature of this particular parrot. You see, he’s a trained parrot, sir, he used to be in the circus. If you pull the string on his left foot he says ‘Hello’ and if you pull the string on his left foot he says ‘Goodbye’.”
“And what happens if you pull both strings at once?”
“I fall off my perch, you fool!” screeched the parrot.
Filed at 8:06 pm under Doctor and nurse jokes by admin
A new arrival, about to enter hospital, saw two white coated doctors searching through the flower beds.
“Excuse me,” he said, “have you lost something?”
“No,” replied one of the doctors. “We’re doing a heart transplant for an income-tax inspector and want to find a suitable stone.”
Filed at 6:06 pm under Car and train jokes by admin
Q. What has one horn and gives milk?
A A milk truck.
Filed at 4:06 pm under Doctor and nurse jokes by admin
Doctor, Doctor I think I’m an adder
Great, can you help me with my accounts then please!
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