Two girls were having their packed lunch in the school yard. One had an apple and the other said, ‘Watch out for worms won’t you !’

The first one replied, ‘why should I ? They can watch out for themselves.’

What lives in apples and is an avid reader?

A bookworm !

What kind of apple isn’t an apple?

A pineapple.

What did one maggot say to the other who was stuck in an apple?

Worm your way out of that one, then!

What did the worm want to do when he grew up?

He wanted to join the Apple Core (Corps).

A Pittsburgh steel worker was driving through northern California’s apple country. He stopped at an orchard and asked the owner, “How much are yer apples?”

“All you can pick for one dollar,” said the rancher.

“Okay,” said the Pennsylvanian. “I’ll take two dollars’ worth.”

What is red and goes putt, putt, putt?

An outboard apple.

What reads and lives in an apple ?

A bookworm !

Why did the farmer hang raincoats all over his orchard?

Someone told him he should get an apple Mac

What do you get if you cross a jogger with an apple pie ?

Puff pastry !

If it took six pigs two hours to eat the apples in the orchard, how many hours would it take three pigs?

None, because the six pigs have already eaten them all.

Fred came rushing in to his Dad.

“Dad!” he puffed, “is it true that an apple a day keeps the doctor away?”

“That’s what they say,” said his Dad. “Well, give me an apple quick ? I’ve just broken the doctor’s window!”

After a minor mathematical error on a routine report, a worker’s boss tried to belittle him in front of his peers. Angrily she asked, “If you had 4 apples and I asked for one, how many would you have left?”

Quickly he replied, “If it was you who asked, I’d still have 4 apples.”

What did the apple say to the apple pie?

“You’ve got some crust.”

Why didn’t the two worms go into Noah’s ark in an apple?

Because everyone had to go in pairs !

What do you get if you cross an apple with a shellfish?

A crab apple !

What can a whole apple do that half an apple can’t do?

It can look round.

If an apple a day keeps the doctor away, what does an onion do?

Keeps everyone away.

How do you get the most apples at Halloween?

Take a snorkel.

Two boys were eating a snack lunch in the school yard. One had an apple and the other said, “Watch out for worms won’t you!” The first one replied, “Why should I? They can watch out for themselves.”

What’s the difference between a worm and an apple ?

Have you ever tried worm pie ?!

The first commandment was when Eve told Adam to eat the apple.

What did the Gorilla do with the apple he was holding in his hands?

He brought it to school and said, ‘An Ape-lle for the teacher!’

How do you make an apple turnover?

Push it down hill.

Why don’t apples smile when you go bobbing ?

Because they’re crab apples !