A Pittsburgh steel worker was driving through northern California’s apple country. He stopped at an orchard and asked the owner, “How much are yer apples?”
“All you can pick for one dollar,” said the rancher.
“Okay,” said the Pennsylvanian. “I’ll take two dollars’ worth.”
Why did the farmer hang raincoats all over his orchard?
Someone told him he should get an apple Mac
If it took six pigs two hours to eat the apples in the orchard, how many hours would it take three pigs?
None, because the six pigs have already eaten them all.
Fred came rushing in to his Dad.
“Dad!” he puffed, “is it true that an apple a day keeps the doctor away?”
“That’s what they say,” said his Dad. “Well, give me an apple quick ? I’ve just broken the doctor’s window!”
After a minor mathematical error on a routine report, a worker’s boss tried to belittle him in front of his peers. Angrily she asked, “If you had 4 apples and I asked for one, how many would you have left?”
Quickly he replied, “If it was you who asked, I’d still have 4 apples.”
Why didn’t the two worms go into Noah’s ark in an apple?
Because everyone had to go in pairs !
If an apple a day keeps the doctor away, what does an onion do?
Keeps everyone away.
Two boys were eating a snack lunch in the school yard. One had an apple and the other said, “Watch out for worms won’t you!” The first one replied, “Why should I? They can watch out for themselves.”
The first commandment was when Eve told Adam to eat the apple.
What did the Gorilla do with the apple he was holding in his hands?
He brought it to school and said, ‘An Ape-lle for the teacher!’
First apple: You look down in the dumps. What’s eating you?
Second apple: Worms, I think.
