Dr Frankenstein: I’ve just invented something that everyone in the world will want! You know how you get a nasty ring around the bathtub every time you use it, and you have to clean the ring off?

Igor: Yes, I hate it.

Dr Frankenstein: Well, you need never have a bathtub ring again! I’ve invented the square tub . . .

Ned: Boy! Was I ever in hot water last night !

Ed: You were? What did you do ?

Ned: I took a bath !

Doctor: Your system needs freshening up a bit. I suggest you take a cold bath every morning.

Patient: Oh, but I do, doctor.

Doctor: You do?

Patient: Yes, every morning I take a nice cold bath and fill it with nice hot water!

Stan: I won 92 goldfish.

Fred: Where are you going to keep them ?

Stan: In the bathroom

Fred: But what will you do when you want to take a bath ?

Stan: Blindfold them !

Nick: Can you tell me the way to Bath?

Rick: I use soap and water, personally.

Which villains steal soap from the bath?

Robber ducks.

What animal do you look like when you get into the bath ?

A little bear !

Why did the bank robber take a bath?

So he could make a clean getaway.

The plumber was working in a house when the lady of the house said to him, “Will it be alright if I have a bath while you’re having your lunch?”

“It’s okay with me lady,” said the plumber, “as long as you don’t splash my sandwiches.”

Two small time thieves had been sent by the Big Boss to steal a van load of goods from a bathroom suppliers. One stayed in the van as look out and the other went into the storeroom. Fifteen minutes went by, then half an hour, then an hour, and no sign of him. The look out finally grew impatient and went to look for his partner.

Inside the store the two came face to face. “Where have you been?” demanded the worried look out. “The boss told me to take a bath, but I couldn’t find the soap and a towel.”

Robot: I have to dry my feet carefully after a bath.

Monster: Why?

Robot: Otherwise I get rusty nails.

My mother says I look just like an animal when I’m in the bath - a little bear.

Did you hear about the idiot who had a new bath put in?

The plumber said, “Would you like a plug for it?”

The idiot replied, “Oh, I didn’t know it was electric.”

Mom: Joe, time for your medicine.

Joe: I’ll run the bath then.

Mom: Why?

Joe: Because on the bottle it says “to be taken in water.”

How do you know that there’s a monster in your bath?

You can’t get the shower curtain closed.

Mum, does God use the bathroom?

No, what a funny question!

Then why did Dad say this morning, ‘Oh, God, are you still in there?’

What do you call the ring that worms leave round the bath ?

The scum of the earth !

How do vampire football players get the mud off?

They all get in the bat-tub.

Boy: Dad, dad, there’s a spider in the bath.

Dad: What’s wrong with that? You’ve seen spiders before.

Boy: Yes, but this one is three feet wide and using all the hot water!

What dog loves to take bubble baths ?

A shampoodle !

What happened to the tiger who took a bath three times a day ?

After a week he was spotless !

Where does a vampire take a bath?

In the bat-room (bathroom).

May: What position does your brother play in the school football team ?

Jay: I think he’s one of the drawbacks !

Adam: How did Mummy know you hadn’t had a bath?

Eve: I forgot to dirty the towel, wet the soap and flood the bathroom.

When a dirty kid has finished taking a bath, what is still dirty?

The bathtub.