Why do parrots carry umbrellas?

So they don’t become polly-saturated!

What did they call the canary that flew into the pastry dish ?

Tweetie Pie !

What did the baby chick say when he saw his mother sitting on an orange ?

‘Dad, dad, look what marma-laid’ !

What is the definition of Robin ?

A bird who steals !

What kind of doctor does a duck visit?

A Ducktor.

What is the difference between a fly and a bird ?

A bird can fly but a fly can’t bird !

How do you get a parrot to talk properly ?

Send him to polytechnic !

What’s the definition of Parity?

Two parrots exactly the same!

Why did a man’s pet vulture not make a sound for five years?

It was stuffed.

What’s brown and white and flies all over?

Thanksgiving turkey, when you carve it with a chain saw!

What do you get if you cross a chicken with a cement mixer ?

A brick-layer !

What did the baby owl’s parents say when he wanted to go to a party?

You’re not owld enough.

Why did the chicken cross the playground ?

To get to the other slide

Why are there no aspirin in the jungle?

The parrots eat em all (Paracetamol)

Q: Why did the chicken say, “Meow, oink, bow-wow, and moo?”

A: He was studying foreign languages.

Whose parrot sits on his shoulder shouting “Pieces of four”?

Short John Silver!

What do you give a sick bird ?

Tweetment !

What are a parrot’s favourite literary characters?

Mr Macawber and Pollyanna!

What do you call a Scottish parrot ?

A Macaw !

What do you call a parrot when it has dried itself after a bath?

Polly unsaturated!

What do you call a crazy chicken ?

A cuckoo cluck !

What kind of bird lays electric eggs ?

A battery hen !

What’s orange and sounds like a parrot?

A carrot!

What do you get if you cross a parrot with a woodpecker ?

A bird that talks in morse code !

Why did the parrot wear a raincoat ?

Because she wanted to be a Polly unsaturated !