Q: Why don’t blondes eat Jelly?

A: They put tacks in their shoulder pads.

Q: Did you hear what the blonde who was opening a new bar said when her lawyer explained to her that she needed a liquor license?

A: “Oh, it’s not gonna be THAT kind of a bar. That’s disgusting!”

Q: Why did the blonde try and steal a police car?

A: She saw “911″ on the back and thought it was a Porsche.

Q: What do you call four Blondes in a Volkswagon?

A: Far-from-thinkin

A blonde walks down the street and sees a banana peel a hundred yards ahead, and she sighs.

“Here we go again.”

What do you call a blonde standing between two brunettes?

A mental block!

A German woman is walking down the street. Eleven blonde guys walk up and attack her. She screams, ”Nein! Nein!” So two guys walk away.

Did you hear about the blonde who thought nitrates was cheaper than day rates?

Q: What can save a dying blonde?

A: Hair transplants.

Q: What is the blonde’s chronic speech impediment?

A: She can’t say “No”.

Q: How do you electrocute a blonde?

A: Tell her to demonstrate the proper usage of an electric chair.

A blonde decides to learn and try horse back riding unassisted without prior experience or lessons. She mounts the horse with great effort, and the tall, shiny horse springs into motion.

It gallops along at a steady and rhythmic pace, but the blonde begins to slip from the saddle. Out of shear terror, she grabs for the horse’s mane but cannot seem to get a firm grip. She tries to throw her arms around the horse’s neck, but she slides down the side of the horse anyway. The horse gallops along, seemingly oblivious to its slipping rider.

Finally, giving up her frail grip, she leaps away from the horse to try and throw herself to safety. Unfortunately, her foot has become entangled in the stirrup. She is now at the mercy of the horse’s pounding hooves as her head is struck against the ground again and again. As her head is battered against the ground, she is mere moments away from unconsciousness or even death when Frank, the Wal-Mart manager runs out to shut the horse off.

Q: How do you confuse a blonde?

A: You don’t. They’re born that way.

Q: How do you drown a blonde?

A: When he asks for a lifesaver, ask him what flavor he wants.

Q: Why did the blond quit his restroom attendant job?

A: He couldn’t figure out how to refill the hand dryer!

Q: What did the blonde do when she found out she was pregnant with triplets?

A: She went looking for the three guys.

Q. If a blonde and a brunette were falling off a building, who would hit the ground first?

A. The brunette because the blonde would stop for directions.

Q. What do you call a blonde in a leather jacket?

A. A rebel without a clue!

A blonde, brunette and a redhead had a breaststroke swimming race across the English Channel. The brunette came in first, the redhead came in second and the blonde never finished.

When the blonde got in the lifeboat she said, ”I don’t want to be a tattletale or anything, but the other two used their arms.”

Q: How did the blonde kill her toy poodle?

A: Trying to put batteries in it.

A friend meets up with her friend as she is picking her car up from the mechanic.

Her friend asks, “Everything ok with your car now?”

The blonde replies, “Yes, thank goodness. I was worried that my mechanic might try to rip me off, so I was relieved when he told me all I needed was blinker fluid.”

Q: How can you tell when a blonde rejects a new brain transplant?

A: She sneezes.

Q: What did the blonde say about blonde jokes?

A: She said they were pretty good, but they might offend some Puerto Ricans.

Q: What does a blonde owl say?

A: What, what?

Q. Why did the blonde get so excited when she finished the jigsaw puzzle after only 6 months?

A. Because on the box it said: From 2-4 years.