My sister wanted to marry a man clever enough to make a lot of money but dumb enough to spend it on her !

How do you know if your little brother is turning into a fridge ?

See if a little light come on whenever he opens his mouth !

A scoutmaster asked one of his troop what good deed he had done for the day.

‘Well,’ said the Scout.

‘Mum had only one dose of castor oil left, so I let my baby brother have it.’

My brother’s one of the biggest stickup men in town.

Gosh is he really?

Yes, he’s a six-foot-six billposter.

Teacher: What’s this a picture of ?

Class: Don’t know, Miss.

Teacher: It’s a kangaroo.

Class: What’s a kangaroo, miss ?

Teacher: A kangaroo is a native of Australia.

Smallest boy: Wow, my sister’s married one of them

Sister: Mom wants you to come in and help fix dinner.

Brother: Why? Is it broken?

Did the bionic monster have a brother?

No, but he had lots of trans-sisters!

Doctor, Doctor! my sister thinks she’s an elevator.

Tell her to come in.

I can’t. She doesn’t stop at this floor.

Little Brother: I’m going to buy a sea horse.

Big Brother: Why?

Little Brother: Because I want to play water polo!

Do you like my new baby sister ? The stalk bought her.

Hmm, it looks as if the stalk dropped her on her head.

Why did your sister jump out the window ?

Because she wanted to try out her new spring suit

Big Brother: That planet over there is Mars.

Little Brother: Then that other one must be Pa’s.

Peter: My brother wants to work badly!

Anita: As I remember, he usually does !

First Boy: Why is your brother always flying off the handle ?

Second Boy: Because he’s got a screw loose !

Alfie was listening to his sister practice her singing. ‘ Sis,’ he said, ‘I wish you’d sing Christmas carols.’

‘That’s nice of you, Alfie,’ she replied. ‘Why ?’

‘Then I’d only have to hear you once a year !’

Mother: Jared, get your little sister’s hat out of that puddle.

Jared: I can’t mum, she’s got it strapped too tight under her chin!

Why does your sister have yeast and shoe polish for breakfast ?

Because she wants to rise and shine.

Knock Knock

Who’s there !

Brother !

Brother who ?

Brother-ation, I’ve forgotten your name !

Dan: My little brother is a real pain.

Nan: Things could be worse.

Dan: How?

Nan: He could be twins !

Do robots have sisters ?

No, just transistors !

Mummy Monster: What are you doing with that saw and where’s your little brother ?

Young Monster: Hee, hee ! He’s my half-brother now!

‘What’s your father’s occupation?’ asked the school secretary on the first day of the new academic year.

‘He’s a conjurer, Ma’am,’ said the new boy.

‘How interesting. What’s his favourite trick?’

‘He saws people in half.’

‘Gosh! now, next question. Any brothers or sisters?’

‘One half brother and two half sisters.’

My sister went on a crash diet.

Is that why she looks a wreck ?

A little demon came home from school one day and said to his mother, ‘I hate my sister’s guts.’

‘All right,’ said his mother, ‘I won’t put them in your sandwiches again.’

Michael: It’s hard for my sister to eat.

Maureen: Why ?

Michael: She can’t bear to stop talking.