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Bus jokes #26

Filed at 2:06 am under Bus jokes by admin

What do you call a bloke with a bus on his head?

Dead.

Bus jokes #25

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Roger was sitting in a very full bus when a fat woman opposite said, “If you were a gentleman, young man, you’d stand up and let someone else sit down.”

“And if you were a lady,” replied Roger, “you’d stand up and let four people sit down.”

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Bus jokes #24

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When you go for a bus ride, do you like sitting upstairs or downstairs?

I prefer to ride on top, but it’s very hard getting the horse up the stairs.

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Bus jokes #23

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Janet: What’s the difference between a cake and a school bus ?

Jill: I don’t know.

Janet: I’m glad I didn’t send you to pick up my birthday cake !

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Bus jokes #22

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Which end of a bus is it best to get off?

It doesn’t matter. Both ends stop.

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Bus jokes #21

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What did the bus conductor say to the frog?

Hop on.

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Bus jokes #20

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What would you get if you crossed King Kong with a skunk?

I don’t know but it could always get a seat on a bus!

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Bus jokes #19

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What do you call a man with a double decker bus on his head?

The deceased !

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Bus jokes #18

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What do monsters play when they are in the bus?

Squash.

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Bus jokes #17

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Have you seen the bus website?

Yes - it’s just the ticket!

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Bus jokes #16

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A man standing at a bus stop was eating a hamburger. Next to him stood a lady with her little dog, which became very excited at the smell of the man’s supper and began whining and jumping up at him.

“Do you mind if I throw him a bit?” said the man to the lady.

“Not at all,” she replied, whereupon the man picked the dog up and threw it over a wall.

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Bus jokes #15

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What “bus” crossed the ocean?

Columbus.

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Bus jokes #14

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Sam left work after a tiring day. ‘Take the bus home,’ suggested a friend.

‘My mother would only make me take it back,’ Sam said.

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Bus jokes #13

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How do eels get around the seabed?

They go by octobus.

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Bus jokes #12

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Cross-Eyed Monster: When I grow up I want to be a bus driver.

Witch: Well, I won’t stand in your way.

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Bus jokes #11

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Cross-eyed monster: When I grow up I want to be a bus driver.

Witch: Well, I won’t stand in your way.

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Bus jokes #10

Filed at 10:06 pm under Bus jokes by admin

Conductor, do you stop at the Savoy Hotel?

I should say not, on my salary!

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Bus jokes #9

Filed at 8:06 am under Bus jokes by admin

Why didn’t anyone take the school bus to school?

I wouldn’t fit through the door.

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Bus jokes #8

Filed at 12:06 pm under Bus jokes by admin

As the bus came to the stop, the man at the front of the queue took out his eye, threw it up in the air and caught it before getting on the bus. An amazed conductor said, ‘What on earth did you do that for?’ ‘I wanted to know if there was room on top,’ replied the man.

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