Filed at 4:06 pm under Children jokes by admin
‘Mum, there’s a man at the door collecting for the Old Folk’s Home. Shall I give him Grandma ?’
Filed at 6:06 pm under Children jokes by admin
A man out for a walk came across a little boy pulling his cat’s tail.
‘Hey you!’ he shouted, ‘ don’t pull the cat’s tail !’
‘I’m not pulling !’ replied the little boy. ‘I’m only holding on - the cat’s pulling !’
Filed at 6:06 am under Children jokes by admin
John kept pestering his parents to buy a video, but they said they couldn’t afford one. So one day John came home clutching a package containing a brand-new video.
‘Where in the World did you get the money to pay for that ?’ asked his father suspiciously.
‘It’s OK, Dad,’ replied John, ‘I’ve traded the TV in for it.’
Filed at 10:06 am under Children jokes by admin
A certain little girl, when asked her name, would reply, “I’m Mr. Sugarbrown’s daughter.”
Her mother told her this was wrong, she must say,”I’m Janey Sugarbrown.”
The Vicar spoke to her in Sunday School, and said,”Aren’t you Mr. Sugarbrown’s daughter?”
With her mother standing just a few feet away, the little girl replied, “I thought I was, but Mommy says I’m not.”
Filed at 10:06 pm under Children jokes by admin
Why did the nutty kid throw butter out of the window?
He wanted to see a butterfly.
Filed at 10:06 pm under Children jokes by admin
After the baby was baptized, her four-year-old brother was crying inconsolably in the back seat of the car.
“What’s the matter Johnny?” asked his concerned mother.
Johnny replied: “that man said that he hoped our baby would be raised in a good Christian home…I just want her to stay with you guys.”
Filed at 12:06 pm under Children jokes by admin
Mother: Did you get a good place in the geography test?
Fred: Yes, Mum, I sat next to the cleverest kid in the class.
Filed at 4:06 am under Children jokes by admin
Two boys camping out in a backyard wanted to know the time, so they began singing at the top of their voices. Eventually one of the neighbours threw open his window and shouted down at them “Hey, less noise!, don’t you know it’s three o’clock in the morning!”
Filed at 6:06 pm under Children jokes by admin
Teacher: I said to draw a cow eating some grass but you’ve only drawn the cow ?
Pupil: Yes, the cow ate all the grass !
Filed at 8:06 pm under Children jokes by admin
The second grader was in bed with a cold and high temperature.
‘How high is it, Doctor?’ she wanted to know.
‘One hundred and three,’ said the doctor.
‘What is the world record?’
Filed at 6:06 am under Children jokes by admin
Father: You’ve got 4 D’s and a C on your report.
Son: “Maybe I concentrated too much on the one subject !”
Filed at 8:06 am under Children jokes by admin
Father: What did you learn in school today?
Son: That three and three are seven.
Father: Three and three are six !
Son: I guess I didn’t learn anything today then !
Filed at 2:06 pm under Children jokes by admin
Boy: Grandma, do you know how to croak.
Grandma: No, I don’t think so. Why?
Boy: Because Daddy says he’ll be a rich man when you do.
Filed at 6:06 pm under Children jokes by admin
Did you hear about the boy who wanted to run away to the circus?
He ended up in a flea circus !
Filed at 4:06 pm under Children jokes by admin
My granddaughter came to spend a few weeks with me, and I decided to teach her to sew. After I had gone through a lengthy explanation of how to thread the machine, she stepped back, put her hands on her hips, and said in disbelief, “You mean you can do all that, but you can’t operate my Game Boy?”
Filed at 2:06 am under Children jokes by admin
A mother was reading a book about animals to her 3 year old daughter.
Mother: “What does the cow say?”
Child: “Moo!”
Mother: “Great! What does the cat say?”
Child: “Meow.”
Mother: “Oh, you’re so smart! What does the frog say?”
And this wide-eyed little 3 year-old looked up at her mother and in her deepest voice replied, “Bud.”
Filed at 12:06 am under Children jokes by admin
Son to his father as they watch television: “Dad, tell me again how when you were a kid you had to walk all the way across the room to change the channel.”
Filed at 2:06 am under Children jokes by admin
A little boy came downstairs crying late one night.
‘ What’s wrong ?’ asked his mother.
‘Do people really come from dust, like they said in church ?’ he sobbed.
‘In a way they do,’ said his mother.
‘And when they die do the turn back to dust?’.
‘Yes, they do.’
The little boy began to cry again. ‘ Well, under my bed there’s someone either coming or going !’
Filed at 6:06 am under Children jokes by admin
Why was the lightning bug unhappy?
Because her children were not very bright.
Filed at 4:06 am under Children jokes by admin
‘You boy !’ called a policeman.’ Can you help ? We’re looking for a man with a huge red nose called Cotters……’
‘Really ?’ said the boy. ‘What’re his ears called ?’
Filed at 12:06 am under Children jokes by admin
Why was the mother flea feeling down in the dumps?
Because she thought her children were all going to the dogs.
Filed at 2:06 pm under Children jokes by admin
A sweet little boy surprised his grandmother one morning and brought her a cup of coffee. He made it himself and was so proud. He anxiously waited to hear the verdict on the quality of the coffee. The grandmother had never in her life had such a bad cup of coffee, and as she forced down the last sip she noticed three of those little green army guys in the bottom of the cup.
She asked, “Honey, why would three little green army guys be in the bottom of my cup?”
Her grandson replied, “You know grandma, it’s like on TV, ‘The best part of waking up is soldiers in your cup.’”
Filed at 2:06 pm under Children jokes by admin
On the way to preschool, the doctor had left her stethoscope on the car seat, and her little girl picked it up and began playing with it.
‘Be still, my heart,’ thought my friend, ‘my daughter wants to follow in my footsteps!’ Then the child spoke to the instrument: “Welcome to McDonald’s. May I take your order?”
Filed at 6:06 am under Children jokes by admin
“What were you before you came to school, boys and girls?” asked the teacher, hoping that someone would say “babies.” She was disappointed when all the children cried out, “Happy!”
Filed at 4:06 am under Children jokes by admin
I had a funny dream last night, Mom.
Did you?
I dreamed I was awake, but when I woke up I found I was asleep.
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