What song do Father Christmas’ gnomes sing to him when he comes home cold on Christmas night?

Freeze a jolly good fellow!

How do you make a slow reindeer fast ?

Don’t feed it !

Why is it so cold at Christmas?

It’s in Decembrrrrr.

Father Christmas: Excuse me, but did I step on your toes on my way out to get an ice-cream?

Lady: You certainly did!

Father Christmas: Oh good! That means I’m back in the right row!

What’s Tarzan’s favourite Christmas song?

Jungle bells.

What can Santa give away and still keep?

A cold.

What did Dracula say at the Christmas party ?

Fancy a bite ?

Can I have a broken drum for Christmas?

The best thing you could have asked for. You can’t beat it!

How to cats greet each other at Christmas ?

“A furry merry Christmas & Happy mew year” !

What’s the most popular wine at Christmas?

“I don’t like sprouts!”

How does Santa Claus take pictures?

With his North Pole-aroid.

What did Adam say on the day before Christmas ?

It’s Christmas, Eve !

ELF NO. 1: What did Santa shout to his toys on Christmas Eve?

ELF NO. 2: Okay everyone, sack time!!

Who delievers elephants’s Christmas presents?

Elephanta Claus !

Mum, Can I have a dog for Christmas ?

No you can have turkey like everyone else !

Whats the best thing to put into a Christmas cake ?

Your teeth !

What do monkeys sing at Christmas ?

Jungle Bells, Jungle bells.. !

What do you get if you deep fry Santa Claus?

Crisp Cringle.

Why does Father Christmas go down chimneys?

Because they soot him!

Doctor, Doctor, with all the excitement of Christmas I can’t sleep.

Try lying on the edge of your bed…you’ll soon drop off!

Why is a burning candle like being thirsty ?

Beacause a little water ends both of them !

A group of mountain climbers once heard Father Christmas go past. They must have had sharp ears! They were mountain-ears!

‘Father Christmas has two reindeer. He calls one Edward and the other one Edward! I bet you can’t tell me why he does that!’

‘Oh, yes I can.’ the elf said.

‘Because tow ‘Eds are better than one, of course!’

Who is never hungry at Christmas ?

The turkey - he’s always stuffed !

Did you hear that one of Santa’s reindeer now works for Proctor and Gamble?

Its true….Comet cleans sinks!