Christmas jokes #84

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What did Adam say on the day before Christmas ?

It’s Christmas, Eve !

Christmas jokes #83

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ELF NO. 1: What did Santa shout to his toys on Christmas Eve?

ELF NO. 2: Okay everyone, sack time!!

Christmas jokes #82

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Who delievers elephants’s Christmas presents?

Elephanta Claus !

Christmas jokes #81

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Mum, Can I have a dog for Christmas ?

No you can have turkey like everyone else !

Christmas jokes #80

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Whats the best thing to put into a Christmas cake ?

Your teeth !

Christmas jokes #79

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What do monkeys sing at Christmas ?

Jungle Bells, Jungle bells.. !

Christmas jokes #78

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What do you get if you deep fry Santa Claus?

Crisp Cringle.

Christmas jokes #77

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Why does Father Christmas go down chimneys?

Because they soot him!

Christmas jokes #76

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Doctor, Doctor, with all the excitement of Christmas I can’t sleep.

Try lying on the edge of your bed…you’ll soon drop off!

Christmas jokes #75

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Why is a burning candle like being thirsty ?

Beacause a little water ends both of them !

Christmas jokes #74

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A group of mountain climbers once heard Father Christmas go past. They must have had sharp ears! They were mountain-ears!

Christmas jokes #73

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‘Father Christmas has two reindeer. He calls one Edward and the other one Edward! I bet you can’t tell me why he does that!’

‘Oh, yes I can.’ the elf said.

‘Because tow ‘Eds are better than one, of course!’

Christmas jokes #72

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Who is never hungry at Christmas ?

The turkey - he’s always stuffed !

Christmas jokes #71

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Did you hear that one of Santa’s reindeer now works for Proctor and Gamble?

Its true….Comet cleans sinks!

Christmas jokes #70

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What is the difference between the Christmas alphabet and the ordinary alphabet?

The Christmas alphabet has NO EL.

Christmas jokes #69

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What’s a ghosts favourite Christmas entertainment ?

A phantomime !

Christmas jokes #68

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Why are Christmas trees like bad knitters ?

They both drop their needles !

Christmas jokes #67

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What’s Father Christmas called when he takes a rest while delivering presents ?

Santa pause !

Christmas jokes #66

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Why is Christmas just like a day at the office ?

You do all the work and the fat guy with the suit gets all the credit.

Christmas jokes #65

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A rabbit’s favourite Christmas song?

‘Lettuce with a gladsome mind’

Christmas jokes #64

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What was wrong with the boy’s brand new toy electric train set he received for Christmas?

Forty feet of track - all straight!

Christmas jokes #63

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What do you get hanging from Father Christmas’ roof?

Tired arms!

Christmas jokes #62

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What’s Scrooge’s favourite Christmas game?

Mean-opoly.

Christmas jokes #61

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What nationality is Santa Claus?

North Polish.

Christmas jokes #60

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What do vampires put on their turkey at Christmas ?

Grave-y !

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