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What did Adam say on the day before Christmas ?
It’s Christmas, Eve !
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ELF NO. 1: What did Santa shout to his toys on Christmas Eve?
ELF NO. 2: Okay everyone, sack time!!
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Who delievers elephants’s Christmas presents?
Elephanta Claus !
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Mum, Can I have a dog for Christmas ?
No you can have turkey like everyone else !
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Whats the best thing to put into a Christmas cake ?
Your teeth !
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What do monkeys sing at Christmas ?
Jungle Bells, Jungle bells.. !
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What do you get if you deep fry Santa Claus?
Crisp Cringle.
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Why does Father Christmas go down chimneys?
Because they soot him!
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Doctor, Doctor, with all the excitement of Christmas I can’t sleep.
Try lying on the edge of your bed…you’ll soon drop off!
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Why is a burning candle like being thirsty ?
Beacause a little water ends both of them !
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A group of mountain climbers once heard Father Christmas go past. They must have had sharp ears! They were mountain-ears!
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‘Father Christmas has two reindeer. He calls one Edward and the other one Edward! I bet you can’t tell me why he does that!’
‘Oh, yes I can.’ the elf said.
‘Because tow ‘Eds are better than one, of course!’
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Who is never hungry at Christmas ?
The turkey - he’s always stuffed !
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Did you hear that one of Santa’s reindeer now works for Proctor and Gamble?
Its true….Comet cleans sinks!
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What is the difference between the Christmas alphabet and the ordinary alphabet?
The Christmas alphabet has NO EL.
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What’s a ghosts favourite Christmas entertainment ?
A phantomime !
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Why are Christmas trees like bad knitters ?
They both drop their needles !
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What’s Father Christmas called when he takes a rest while delivering presents ?
Santa pause !
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Why is Christmas just like a day at the office ?
You do all the work and the fat guy with the suit gets all the credit.
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A rabbit’s favourite Christmas song?
‘Lettuce with a gladsome mind’
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What was wrong with the boy’s brand new toy electric train set he received for Christmas?
Forty feet of track - all straight!
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What do you get hanging from Father Christmas’ roof?
Tired arms!
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What’s Scrooge’s favourite Christmas game?
Mean-opoly.
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What nationality is Santa Claus?
North Polish.
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What do vampires put on their turkey at Christmas ?
Grave-y !
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