Filed at 2:06 am under College jokes by admin
A Mississippi professor was at a party and became indignant when asked if college professors were absent-minded.
“Professors haven’t got bad memories,” he declared.
“They’re not absent-minded. Don’t you think I know where I am right now, and don’t you think tomorrow I’ll know where I was last night? Would somebody like to ask me another question?”
“Yes,” said another guest. “Is it true that professors are absent-minded and have bad memories?”
“Good!” said the professor. “I knew sooner or later somebody would ask me that question.”
Filed at 2:06 am under College jokes by admin
A college student in a philosophy class was taking his first examination. On the paper there was a single line which simply said: “Is this a question?” - Discuss.
After a short time he wrote: “If that is a question, then this is an answer.”
The student received an “A” on the exam.
A Boston brokerage house advertised for a “young Harvard graduate or the equivalent.”
Among the inquiries received was one from a Yale grad. He said, “Do you mean two Princeton men, or a Yale man part time?”
Filed at 12:06 am under College jokes by admin
Q: How many graduate students does it take to change a light bulb?
A: Only one, but it may take him/her more than five years to do it.
Filed at 6:06 am under College jokes by admin
What do you get if you cross a student and an alien ?
Something from another universe -ity !
Filed at 12:06 am under College jokes by admin
Why did the Oregon State psychology major climb up the chain link fence?
To see what was on the other side.
Filed at 6:06 pm under College jokes by admin
What’s the difference between an American student and an English student ?
About 3000 miles !
Filed at 10:06 pm under College jokes by admin
How many Wake Forest fraternity brothers does it take to make chocolate chip cookies?
Seventeen. One to do it and sixteen to shell the M&M’s.
Filed at 2:06 am under College jokes by admin
Two Kentucky psychology majors were walking through the campus. “Do you consider a 1441.Q. high?”
“Yes!”
“For the whole basketball team?”
Filed at 8:06 am under College jokes by admin
How can you tell if a California State coed is a good cook?
She can get the pop tart out of the toaster in one piece.
Filed at 2:06 pm under College jokes by admin
A college student in a philosophy class was taking his first examination. On the paper there was a single line which simply said: “Is this a question?” - Discuss.
After a short time he wrote: “If that is a question, then this is an answer.” The student received an “A” on the exam.
A Boston brokerage house advertised for a “young Harvard graduate or the equivalent.” Among the inquiries received was one from a Yale grad. He said, “Do you mean two Princeton men, or a Yale man part time?”
Filed at 8:06 pm under College jokes by admin
Did you hear about the University of Miami fullback who stayed up all night studying for his urine test?
Filed at 2:06 pm under College jokes by admin
“Professor, I hear your wife has had twins. Boys or girls?”
“Well, I believe one is a girl and one is a boy but it may be the other way around.”
Filed at 6:06 pm under College jokes by admin
A survey was being taken on the University of Arizona campus.
The survey taker asked a soccer player, “What do you think of bilingualism?”
“Oh, I think it’s okay,” said the boy, “if it’s between consenting adults.”
Filed at 4:06 pm under College jokes by admin
Professor: Heavens! Someone stole my wallet!
Wife: Didn’t you feel a hand in your pocket?
Professor: Yes, but I thought it was mine!
Filed at 12:06 am under College jokes by admin
An applicant was being interviewed for admission to a prominent medical school.
“Tell me,” inquired the interviewer, “where do you expect to be ten years from now?”
“Well, let’s see,” replied the student. “It’s Wednesday afternoon. I guess I’ll be on the golf course by now.”
Filed at 2:06 am under College jokes by admin
Tipton and Baldwin shared a room on the North Carolina campus.
One day Tipton came in and said to his roommate, “I hear there’s a new case of herpes in the dorm.”
“Great!” said Baldwin. “I was getting tired of 7-Up!”
Filed at 12:06 am under College jokes by admin
On what kind of ships do students study?
Scholarships.
Filed at 8:06 pm under College jokes by admin
Wouldn’t it be nice to tell the Dean of your college what you REALLY think about him/her? Well, if you like your Dean as much as I like my Dean, then you’d better keep your mouth shut. I knew I’d get kicked out of the college if I expressed my true feelings, so I remained silent for the last four years.
But yesterday was my graduation. And as I walked across the stage, the Dean handed my diploma to me (nicely scrolled and tied with a ribbon). Once she handed it to me, I could finally tell that bitch what I REALLY thought about her. So I leaned across her podium and I looked her straight in the eye.
“Hey Bitch,” I said. “You’re so damn ugly, you could practice birth control just by leaving the lights on!”
And then I walked off the stage, and went home. I gotta tell you that it felt just as good as I had imagined it would for the last four years. Today, I unwrapped my diploma, framed it, and hung it in the living room, where it proudly exclaims to the world: “In order to receive your diploma, please present this certificate to the Dean of your college after final grades have been posted!”
Filed at 4:06 pm under College jokes by admin
How do you know a Brigham Young student’s been mowing the lawn?
The welcome mat is destroyed.
Filed at 12:06 pm under College jokes by admin
How do you measure a Villanova graduate’s I.Q.?
With a tire gauge.
Filed at 4:06 am under College jokes by admin
How does a New York University psychology major turn on his lights in the morning?
By opening the car door.
Filed at 10:06 am under College jokes by admin
Arvil was coming out of the Texas University student building when he was stopped by two coeds.
“Would you like to become a Jehovah’s Witness?” asked one of the girls.
“No, I really couldn’t. I didn’t see the accident.”
Filed at 6:06 am under College jokes by admin
Tad answered the Tennessee State frat house phone.
“Hi,” said the voice, “this is Rollie. Come on over, we’re having a real wildass party.”
“Shit, Ah’d shore love to,” said Tad, “but Ah got me a bad case of gonorrhea.”
“Bring it along!” answered Rollie. “The way thangs is goin’, mah buddies’ll drink anythin’!”
Filed at 6:06 pm under College jokes by admin
How can you tell a Minnesota hockey fan?
Ask him what color the blue line is and wait. It may take him ten minutes to answer.
Filed at 10:06 am under College jokes by admin
Biddle and Payne, two elderly English professors, were having lunch in the cafeteria. During the course of the conversation, Biddle said, “A student gave me a peculiar answer in class today. I asked who wrote the Merchant of Venice and a sophomore said, ‘Please, sir, it wasn’t me!’”
“Ha, ha!” laughed Payne. “And I suppose the little snot had done it all along!”
Next »
