Did you hear about the snobby cow?

She thought she was a cutlet above the rest!

A man climbed over a fence into a field to pick some flowers. He noticed a bull nearby. Say, farmer. Is that bull safe?

Well, he’s a lot safer than you are right now!

What is a moo hoo for the bucket that goes at the back end of the cow?

A tail pail!

How do bulls drive their cars?

They steer them!

What game do little cows like to play?

Moonopoly.

What do you get if you cross a cow with an octopus ?

A cow that can milk itself !

What’s a moo hoo for the sound you hear when a cow spits?

A cud thud!

If you had a gun and you were being chased by a bull and a mountain lion, which one would you shoot first?

The mountain lion. You can always shoot the bull!

Teacher: Name five things that contain milk.

Pupil: Butter, cheese, ice cream … and two cows!

Why was the calf afraid?

He was a cow-herd!

What two members of the cow family go everywhere with you?

Your calves!

Q. What does a cow make when the sun comes out?

A. A shadow

What do you call a bull that’s sent overseas by boat?

Shipped beef!

What do you get from a cow on the North Pole?

Cold cream!

What do you get from a forgetful cow?

Milk of amnesia!

If you crossed a cow with Michael Jackson, what song would you get?

“Beeflt!”

What do you call a cow who argues with her husband?

A bullfighter!

Why do cows like being told jokes ?

Because they like being amoosed !

Is there big money in the cattle business?

So I’ve herd!

What does a cow ride when his car is broken?

A COW-asaki MOO-torcycle!

How did cows feel when the branding iron was invented?

They were very impressed!

What did the mooron say when he saw the milk cartons in the grass?

“Hey! Look at the cow’s nest!”

What do you call it when cows do battle in outer space?

Steer Wars.

What do you get when you cross a cow with a kangaroo?

A kangamoo!

What do you get if you cross a cow, a french fry, and a sofa?

A cowch potato!