Patient: Doctor, I am very nervous. You know, this is my first extraction.

Young dentist: Don’t worry, it’s my first extraction too.

Patient: Doc, what should I do with all the gold and silver in my mouth?

Dentist: Don’t smile in a bad neighborhood.

Dentist: Don’t worry. I’m painless.

Patient: I’m not.

Why was the man arrested for looking at sets of dentures in a dentist’s window?

Because it was against the law to pick your teeth in public.

believe that the members of the dental profession are the only men who can tell a women to open or close her mouth and get away with it.

A husband and wife entered the dentist’s office.

The husband said, “I want a tooth pulled. I don’t want gas or Novocain because I’m in a terrible hurry. Just pull the tooth as quickly as possible.”

“You’re a brave man,” said the dentist. “Now, show me which tooth it is.”

The husband turns to his wife and says, “Open your mouth and show the dentist which tooth it is, dear.”

Patient to Dentist: “How much to get my teeth straightened?”

“Twenty thousand bucks” Patient heads for the door.

Dentist to patient: “Where are you going?”

“To a plastic surgeon to get my mouth bent.”

A patient came to his dentist with problems with his teeth.

Patient: Doctor, I have yellow teeth, what do I do?

Dentist: Wear a brown tie!

What did the dentist say to the golfer?

“You have a hole in one. “

While I was waiting to see the dentist, a woman came out of his inner office smiling. Nodding to me, she said, “Thank goodness my work is completed. I’m so glad to have found a painless dentist and one who’s so gentle and understanding too.”

When seated in the dentist chair, I related the incident to the doctor. He laughed and explained, “Oh, that was just my Mother.”

Dentist: “You don’t need to open your mouth any wider. When I pull your tooth I expect to stand outside.”

How many dentists does it take to change a light bulb?

Three. One to administer the anaesthetic, one to extract the light bulb, and one to offer the socket some vile pink mouthwash.

What game did the dentist play when she was a child?…Caps and robbers

A dentist, after completing work on a patient, came to him begging.

Dentist: Could you help me? Could you give out a few of your loudest, most painful screams?

Patient: Why? Doctor, it wasn’t all that bad this time.

Dentist: There are so many people in the waiting room right now, and I don’t want to miss the four o’clock ball game.

“I came in to make an appointment with the dentist.” said the man to the receptionist.

“I’m sorry sir.” she replied. “He’s out right now, but…”

“Thank you.” interrupted the obviously nervous prospective patient. “When will he be out again ?”

Cloyd went to a Charleston dentist complaining his gums had shriveled up and his teeth were falling out. After examining him, the dentist said, “Your mouth is really bad. Do you brush?”

“Ah sure do!” replied Cloyd. “Everee single day!”

“What do you brush with?” asked the dentist,

“Preparation H,” said the redneck.

Patient:Do you extract teeth painlessly?

Dentis: Not always, the other day I nearly dislocated my wrist

Young Charlie to dentist’s sexy chariside assistant “Aha ! Are you the lady orthodontist ?”.

The lady replied “No, but I’ll straighten anyone’s teeth “

Why are you laughing?

My dentist just pulled one of my teeth out. I don’t see much to laugh about in that. But it was the wrong one!

Dentist to parsimonious patient “No, we give no discount for empty spaces when cleaning and polishing teeth Mrs. Borde!”

I’m suffering from bad breath

You should do something about it!

I did.

I just sent my wife to the dentist.

Patient: “It must be tough spending all day with your hands in someone’s mouth.”

Dentist: “I just think of it as having my hands in their wallet.”

Papa, why is it that dentists call their offices dental parlors?

“Because they are drawing-rooms, my son.”

“I am sorry, madam, but I shall have to charge you hundred dollars for pulling your boy’s tooth.”

“Hundred dollars! Why, I understood you to say that you charged only twenty dollars for such work!”

“Yes,” replied the dentist, “but this youngster yelled so terribly that he scared out four other patients out of the office.”

What was the dentist doing in Panama?…

Looking for the Root Canal