Q: How do you get a dog to stop barking in the back seat of a car?

A: Put him in the front seat.

What is a dog’s favourite food ?

Anything that is on your plate !

What do you get if you take a really big dog out for a walk ?

A Great Dane out !

What do you get if you cross a dog and a sheep ?

A sheep that can round itself up !

What dog is a cousin to the Dalmatian?

A spot-weiler!

Why didn’t the dog speak to his foot ?

Because it’s not polite to talk back to your paw !

My dog is great at math.

Really ?

Ask him how much is two minus two.

But two minus two is nothing!

That’s what he’ll answer, nothing!

What do you get if you cross a sheepdog with a jelly ?

The collie wobbles !

What dog wears contact lenses ?

A cock-eyed spaniel !

What is your dog’s favorite breakfast?

Pooched eggs!

What kind of dog chases anything red ?

A bull dog !

Q: What do you say to a dog before he eats?

A: Bone appetite!

Why did the dog’s owner think his dog was a great mathematician?

When he asked the dog what six minus six was, the dog said nothing.

What has eighteen legs and fetches a ball?

The Philadelphia Beagles!

What do you call a black Eskimo dog ?

A dusky husky !

Where will a springer spaniel never shop?

At a flea market!

How can you tell a dog from a tomato?

The tomato is red.

Where do you usually find dogs?

It all depends on where you lose them.

Why didn’t the dog speak to his foot ?

Because it’s not polite to talk back to your paw !

Why did the dog sleep so poorly?

By mistake he plugged his electric blanket into the toaster and kept popping out of bed all night!

What does a Chihuahua play basketball with?

A tennis ball!

What did the dog do with the history professor?

They got together and talked over old times.

Q: What has got four legs and an arm?

A: A Rottweiler in a playground.

What did the dog say to the pig?

You are just a bore.

What is the difference between a dog and a mailbox?

If you don’t know you must lose a lot of mail.