Why don’t vikings send e-mails?

They prefer to use Norse code.

How does Robin hood send messages around Sherwood Forest?

By tree mail!

Why did the internit paint his computer screen in little black and white squares?

He wanted to check his e-mail.

How do skunks like their e-mails?

Scent.

How do Indian chiefs send messages?

By teepee-mail!

How do sheep sign their e-mails?

Ewes sincerely.

How do really posh dogs send messages?

By predigree-mail.

I just sent my first e-mail.

Kongratulations!

Why do church bells never send e-mails?

They’d rather give each other a ring.

Why was the hen banned from sending e-mails?

She was always using fowl language.

How do wasps send messages? By bee-mail.

Do you send e-mails on your home computer?

What’s the point?

I can just bring my home along with me and have a chat.

How do whales type e-mails?

With their fish fingers.

Why don’t you stamp e-mails?

Because your foot would go right through the computer screen!

How do long distance runners send e-mail?

On the sprin-ternet.

What do werewolves put at the bottom of their e-mails?

Beast wishes.

What do robots put at the bottom of their e-mails?

Yours tin-sincerely.

What do vampires put at the bottom of their e-mails?

Best viscious.

How come you never write e-mails?

I’d rather send a note!

How do mountainers send messages?

By ski-mail.

How do athletes send e-mails?

On the Inter-sweat.

What did Hamlet say when he was thinking of sending a message?

To e or not to e, that is the question.

I tried to send an e-mail and broke my computer.

How do you manage that?

I think it was when I tried to push it through the letterbox.

How do dolphins send messages?
By sea-mail.

How do Italian Chefs swap recipes?
By Spaghett-e-mail!