Filed at 12:06 am under Firefighter jokes by admin
Q.What do you get when you cross a Fire Chief two Lotus Notes Gurus ?
A. FireWeb …. of course!
Filed at 12:06 am under Firefighter jokes by admin
If - H 2 O - is on the inside of a fire hydrant, what is on the outside?
K 9 P
Filed at 12:06 am under Firefighter jokes by admin
When the employees of a restaurant attended a fire safety seminar, they watched a fire official demonstrate the proper way to operate an extinguisher.
“Pull the pin like a hand grenade,” he explained, “then depress the trigger to release the foam.”
Later an employee was selected to extinguish a controlled fire in the parking lot. In her nervousness, she forgot to pull the pin. The instructor hinted, “Like a hand grenade, remember?”
In a burst of confidence she pulled the pin — and hurled the extinguisher at the blaze.
Filed at 6:06 pm under Firefighter jokes by admin
here were these 3 Riverside City Firemen who always went bird hunting together and they always rented a hunting dog name Rex from a local farmer. Rex was a great dog and would always hold point and find any birds they shoot. One year they did’t go hunting and the farmer rented Rex out to some Corona City Firemen who used him that season.
The next year the Riverside guys went to rent Rex from the farmer for hunting but the farmer had bad news for them. He told them Rex was no longer any good for hunting and didn’t have a replacement for him and to tell the Corona firemen they were not welcome there any more and that if he saw them he would probably shoot them for what they did to Rex. The R.F.D. guys asked the farmer what the Corona boys did that could be so bad.
Well the farmer said last year when they rented Rex it all started off fine until one of the Corona guys decided to rename him. Well whats wrong with that they asked. The farmer said they renamed him CHIEF and now all he does is sit on his ass and bark all the time.
Filed at 8:06 pm under Firefighter jokes by admin
One day a boy was drowning in a near by lake. A firefighter swam out and pulled the boy up onto the beach and began CPR. A crowed watched as the firefighter frantically pumped on the boys chest. With great amazement water was pooring from the boys mouth. Each time the firefighter pumped more water came out.
A short time later seaweed started coming out, then minnows, then more water started coming out of the boys mouth. The firefighter feared this would never stop. Just then, a paramedic arrived and quickly ran over to the firefighter and blurted out. “Hey Chief! You better get that kids ass out of the water before you pump that lake dry”.
Filed at 4:06 pm under Firefighter jokes by admin
Q. How can you tell when a Chicago Fireman is dead?
A. The remote control slips from his hand.
Filed at 2:06 pm under Firefighter jokes by admin
What did the fireman say when the church caught on fire?
“Holy smoke!”
Filed at 2:06 pm under Firefighter jokes by admin
A fire broke out in a six story apartment building last week in a near by town. A blonde, a redhead, and a brunette escaped the flames by climbing up onto the roof. When the fire department arrived they got out a blanket held it up and the Chief called out to the brunette to jump into the blanket. The brunette jumped. As she was falling ’swoosh’ the firefighters pulled the blanket away and she landed on the street like a brick. The firefighters then held the blanket back up and the Chief told the redhead to jump.
“No way! I saw what you did to my friend.” exclaimed the redhead.
“I am sorry” said the Chief, “My wife was a brunette and she divorced me. I just don’t like brunettes. We have no problems with redheads….jump it’s your only chance.”
So the redhead jumped. On the way down ’swoosh’ the firefighters pulled the blanket away and she hit the pavement like a tomato!”
The firefighters again held up the blanket and the Chief told the blonde to jump. The fire was getting worse and her only chance of survival was to jump.
“No I am not jumping. I saw what you did to my two friends.”
“I’m sorry” said the Chief, “I explained what happened to the brunette and when the redhead jumped we were a little distracted. It will not happen again, just jump!”
The blonde thought for a moment. “OK I’ll jump - but first I want you to lay the blanket on the ground, back away, and then I’ll jump into it.”
Filed at 10:06 pm under Firefighter jokes by admin
Q.How do you put out a fire?
A.Take away the HEAT , FUEL , OXYGEN , or the CHIEF!
Filed at 2:06 am under Firefighter jokes by admin
A firefighter died and went to hell where he finds a wall of clocks. After seeing all these clocks on a wall, with his friends names under them, he asked the devil, what the clocks mean?
“That’s easy, each time one of your friends mess up on earth, their clock speeds up one hour.” says the devil.
“I don’t see the Chiefs clock anywhere?” the fireman says.
The devil replied, “Oh him, we have his down in the basement, we’re using it for a fan.”
Filed at 10:06 pm under Firefighter jokes by admin
Q. A fireman had two sons. What did he name them?
A. Hosea and Hoseb
Filed at 8:06 pm under Firefighter jokes by admin
There was a huge fire at a big city soda factory. The city company was losing ground and the owner was frantic. He told the fire department that he needed a secret formula in the safe that was in the center of the blaze, and he would give 10,000 dollars to the department that got the formula. An hour later no ground was gained and a mutual aid call was put out. When 12 departments couldn’t subdue the blaze the owner saw this he raised the reward to 100,000 dollars. Suddenly a small town department drove their truck right into the fire and emerged 10 minutes later with the formula. When asked what they would do with the money one said, “Get them damn brakes fixed we figure.”
Filed at 4:06 pm under Firefighter jokes by admin
Q: What is the first thing off the truck at a trailer fire?
A: Lawn chair.
Filed at 12:06 am under Firefighter jokes by admin
Q. What does CHAOS stand for?
A. The Chiefs Have Arrived On Scene.
Filed at 10:06 am under Firefighter jokes by admin
A fire chief died and went to heaven. When he got there he saw a long line waiting to get in to the pearly gates. He told himself, “I’m a fire chief, I’m not going to wait in line.”
He went to the angels guarding the gates and said, “Let me in. I’m a fire chief.” The angels replied, “You’ll have to wait in line like everyone else, sir.”
While waiting at the back of the line he saw a sedan pull up with red lights and a man got out wearing a whitehelmet that said “CHIEF”. The angels popped to attention and let the chief enter heaven. The waiting fire chief was pissed and went to talk to the angels.
He asked, “Why did you let that fire chief go through and not me?” To which the angels replied, “You have it all wrong, sir. That’s God, he just thinks he’s a Fire Chief.”
Filed at 6:06 pm under Firefighter jokes by admin
Why do firemen wear red suspenders?
To keep their pants up.
Filed at 4:06 pm under Firefighter jokes by admin
What usually comes after the monster lights the birthday candles?
The fire department.
Filed at 2:06 am under Firefighter jokes by admin
Seems the Shah of Iran was visiting Disneyland with his young son. The son seemed to be having a good time but had that look that something else was on his mind.
The Shah asked, “What do you really want, Son?”
The Son said, “A Mickey Mouse Outfit.” With that, the Shaw went out and bought him a uniform from the neighboring Fire Department.
Filed at 2:06 pm under Firefighter jokes by admin
A man who worked at a fire hydrant factory was always late for work.
When confronted by his boss the man explained:
“You can’t park anywhere near this place!”
Filed at 4:06 am under Firefighter jokes by admin
Q: Did you know that the three wise men were firemen?
A: It says they came from afir (a fire, a far).
Filed at 8:06 am under Firefighter jokes by admin
Q. What does CHAOS stand for?
A.The Chiefs Have Arrived On Scene.
Filed at 10:06 am under Firefighter jokes by admin
When the employees of a restaurant attended a fire safety seminar, they watched a fire official
demonstrate the proper way to operate an extinguisher. “Pull the pin like a hand grenade,” he explained, “then depress the trigger to release the foam.”
Later an employee was selected to extinguish a controlled fire in the parking lot. In her nervousness, she forgot to pull the pin. The instructor hinted, “Like a hand grenade, remember?” In a burst of confidence she pulled the pin — and hurled the
extinguisher at the blaze.
Filed at 4:06 pm under Firefighter jokes by admin
Three firefighters went out on a hunting trip. There was a rookie, a captain, and a chief. The weather
was misrable and they hadn’t seen any deer all day. They came across an old shack where they went inside to play a game of poker. After loosing a couple of hands, the rookie threw down his cards and said “that does it! I am going out to get me a deer.”
Fifteen minutes later, the rookie came back with a nice four point buck.
The captain and chief asked, “how did you get that?”
The rookie replied, “I walked out fifty feet, followed some tracks and shot this buck”.
The captain then said, “I’ve had enough of this I am going to get my deer.”
He came back a half hour later with a 6-point buck.
The chief asked, “how did you get that?”
The captain replied, “I walked out a hundred feet, followed some tracks and shot this buck.”
The chief not wanting to be out done said “I am out of here, I am going to bag the biggest buck of the day.”
He came back an hour later, all mangled up and bloody.
The rookie and captain asked, “what happened to you?”
The chief replied, “I walked out there five hundred feet, followed some tracks, and got hit by a train.”
