Why was the frog down in the mouth ?

He was un hoppy !

What do headmasters and bullfrogs have in common ?

Both have big heads that consist mostly of mouth !

What do you say to a hitchhiking frog ?

Hop in !

Once upon a time, a beautiful, independent, self-assured princess happened upon a frog in a pond. The frog said to the princess, ” I once was a handsome prince until an evil witch put a spell on me. One kiss from you and I will turn back into a prince and then we can marry, move into the castle with my mom and you can prepare my meals, clean my clothes, bear my children and forever feel happy doing so.”

That night, while the princess dined on frog legs, she kept laughing and saying, “I don’t THINK so.”

Whats white on the outside, green on the inside and comes with relish and onions ?

A hot frog !

What does a frog say when it washes car windows? Rub it, rub it, rub it.

Where do frogs leave their hats and coats ?

In the croakroom !

Whats green and goes round and round at 100 miles an hour ?

A frog in a blender !

Q: How did the frog cross the road when a truck was coming?

A: SPLAT!!! He didn’t.

Where do you get frogs eggs ?

At the spawn shop !

What do you call a rich frog ?

A golf blooded reptile !

Whats a frogs favourite game ?

It’s croak-et !

Why did the lizard go on a diet ?

It weighed too much for its scales !

A frog came into a bank to obtain a loan. He spoke to the loan officer Mr. Paddywack. When Mr. Paddywack asked the frog what he had for loan collateral, the frog held out his hand.

“What’s that?” asked Mr. Paddywack, but the frog could not talk. So, Mr. Paddywack took the frog in to see the manager and explained the situation. The manager then asked the frog what collateral he had for the loan and the frog held out his hand.

“Oh,” said the manager, “that’s a knickknack Paddywack, give the frog a loan.”

What happened when a frog joined the cricket team?

He bowled long hops !

What do you get if cross a science fiction film with a toad ?

Star Warts !

What happens if you eat a hot frog ?

You’ll croak in no time !

Why didn’t the female frog lay eggs ?

Because her husband spawned her affections !

Why doesnt Kermit like elephants?

They always want to play leap-frog with him.

What jumps up and down in front of a car ?

Froglights !

A librarian was quietly working when three chickens walked in and jumped on to the counter eyed her and said “BUK BUK BUK” Not sure she was sane she gave the chikens three books and they left.

An hour later in walked the chickens again jumped onto the counter, returned the books they had taken earlier and said “BUK BUK BUK” Now convinced she was out of her mind she gave them three books, they took one each and left. This time she decided to follow them. She followed them down to the local pond and stood horrified as they threw the books into the water.

All of a sudden they flew back out of the pond and a frog stuck it’s head up saying “RREDIT RREDIT RREDIT!”

What do you call a frog who wants to be a cowboy ?

Hoppalong Cassidy !

What do you call a girl with a frog in her hair ?

Lily !

What do you call the English Toad Prize giving cermony ?

The Brit Awarts !

Why did the toad become a lighthouse keeper ?

He had his own frog horn !