Barber: And how old are you, little man?

Fred: Eight.

Barber: And do you want a haircut?

Fred: Well, I certainly didn’t come in for a shave!

Why did the bald man put a rabbit on his head?

Because he wanted a head of hare (hair).

Your so bald, I can see what your thinking.

Why do polo bears like bald men ?

Because they have a great, white, bear place !

What’s your dad getting for Christmas?

Bald and fat.

Why did the bald man go outside ?

To get some fresh hair !

What do you get if you cross a hairdresser with a werewolf?

A monster with an all-over perm.

How much for a haircut?

Barber: Fifteen dollars.

How much for a shave?

Barber: Ten dollars.

Right - shave my head.

What do you call a proton with big hair?

A ‘froton.

The Sunday School teacher asked if any of the children’s parents had quoted from the Bible in the past week. Little Timmy paused, but then spoke up, “My daddy doesn’t have any hair on his head. Daddy says that God put hair on everything that he was ashamed of.”

What kind of hair do oceans have ?

Wavy !

Doctor, Doctor my hair keeps falling out, can you give me anything to keep it in ?

Yes, here is a paper bag !

Customer: Why did you take off so much hair?

Barber: I didn’t, nature beat me to it.

I want a hair cut please.

Certainly, which one !

A cowboy walked into a barber shop, sat on the barber’s chair and said, “I’ll have a shave and a shoe shine.” The barber began to lather his face while a woman with the biggest, firmest, most beautiful breasts that he had ever seen knelt down and began to shine his shoes.

The cowboy said, “Young lady, you and I should go and spend some time in a hotel room.”

She replied, “I’m married and my husband wouldn’t like that. ”

The cowboy said, “Tell him your working overtime and I’ll pay you the difference.”

She said, “You tell him. He is the one shaving you.”

Doctor, doctor, can you give me something for my baldness?

How about a few pounds of pig manure?

Will that cure my baldness?

No, but with that on your head no one will come near enough to notice you’re bald.

A man enters a barber shop for a shave. While the barber is foaming him up, he mentions the problems he has getting a close shave around the cheeks.

“I have just the thing,” says the barber taking a small wooden ball from a nearby drawer. “Just place this between your cheek and gum.”

The client places the ball in his mouth and the barber proceeds with the closest shave the man has ever experienced. After a few strokes the client asks in garbled speech.

“And what if I swallow it?”

“No problem,” says the barber. “Just bring it back tomorrow like everyone else does.”

My barber is a specialist in road map shaves.

How come?

When he’s finished, your face is full of short cuts.

I had a dream you were a tire last night. I woke up and you were bald.

A guy admired the hair of three girls. He walked by one and asked, “How’d you get such lovely blonde hair”

Taking her hand and gently running it through her hair, the girl answered, “It’s natural.”

The guy walked by the second girl and asked, “How’d you get such pretty brown hair?”

Fluffing her hair, the second girl said, “It’s natural.”

Finally the guy approached the third girl and asked, “How’d you get such cool green hair?”

Taking her hand and rubbing it up past her nose, then skimming it through the hair, she said, “It’s natural.”

What do you get if you cross a wireless with a hairdresser ?

Radio waves !

After accepting an invitation to dance with a rather prematurely balding man a young woman wants to lighten the mood and says, “Honey, God was good to you, gave you a handsome face and room for another one.”

Barber: Your hair is getting grey, Sir.

Customer: I’m not surprised - hurry up, will you?

Is that your face or are you wearing your hair back to front today?

Customer: Why doesn’t my hairline look good?

Barber: It’s on the same old head.