A five year old boy and his grandfather are sitting on the front porch together, when grandpa pulls a beer out of a cooler. the little boy asked, “Grandpa, can I have a beer?”

Grandpa replied, “Can your dick touch your ass?” The little boy answered no. Grandpa said “Then you’re not man enough to have a beer.” A little later Grandpa lights up a cigar. The little boy asked, “Grandpa, can I have a cigar?” Once again, Grandpa asked,
“Can your dick touch your ass?” The little boy answered no, again. Grandpa said, “Then your not man enough to have a cigar.”

A little later, the little boy came out of the house With a cookie. Grandpa asked, “Can I have a cookie?” The boy asked “Can your dick touch your ass?” Grandpa replied, “Hell yeah my dick can touch my ass!” The boy replied, “Then go fuck yourself, Grandma made these cookies for me.”