Calvin went to Pearson’s Pet Shop to complain that his canary wouldn’t sing.

“File the beak just a little,” said the owner, “and the bird will sing. But if you file it too much, the canary will die.”

Two weeks later Pearson ran into Calvin on the street and asked about his canary.

“He died,” said Calvin.

“But I told you not to file the beak too much.”

“I didn’t,” explained Calvin, “but by the time I got him out of the vise, he was already dead.”